Feelings..

Well..
How should I start this blog?
There are many thoughts and feelings bottling inside me.
I feel like I am going to burst soon.
Thoughts..
Why must I give in to everything that he says?
Why can't it go my way?
How come it can only be engagement and not further?
I know to save money.
But can't it just happen?
Why is it so difficult leh?
I duno how come also.
Am simply just unhappy.
Things ain't going the way that I was thinking.
It is made one step harder.
I don't know how am I going to go through the hurdle.
I so much so wanted to tell him.
But i scared that he will be burden with it.
Besides it is not an easy task.
He is also busy with his work.
Aiya!
Just stupid thoughts running through my head.
Maybe I should just leave it that way.
Although he had told me that I will just receive the engagement ring.
After which 2.5 years later then get married.
But then.......
It is just not the way I wanted you see?
Maybe it won't happen also.
I just simply went blank.

Then start of school le.
A lot of homework and feelings to juggle with.
Coz of "someone"..friends ain't that close to me le.
Sigh!
I feel lonely.
Don't know how come also la.
Just mixed feelings.
Haven't been sleeping very well either.
That's why during the day am just too tired to crack my head nor think about anything.
I just want to shut off.
Don't want to have feelings.
Can or not?

Back to cleaning up zhu zhu's den.
Otherwise it will be very dirty.
Okies la..
Just wanna type some craps that are in my head.
Apologies for rumbling all my sorrows in here.
Ha Ha!
I just hope that the days ahead will be better.

Logging off.
2140 hours